Bloggers Arrested on Drug Charges

NORMAN, Okla. — Police responding to reports of a loud party Tuesday night near Elmwood Drive and South Pickard in Norman, Okla., discovered a large bag of what was later identified as cocaine. The three suspects arrested at the site included two infamous bloggers, noted genius Dirt Monkey and standout scribe Gravy Train.

Norman police spokesperson Captain Jose Charles said Wednesday that the quantity of cocaine involved would lead to a charges of Possession with Intent to Distribute Cocaine and Possession with Intent to Distribute Cocaine Base. This would be the 137th drug offense for each defendant.

The defendants allegedly possessed, with intent to distribute, in excess of 5 kilograms of a mixture or substance containing a detectable amount of cocaine, a Schedule II Controlled Substance. They were also charged with possessing with intent to distribute in excess of 5 grams of a mixture or substance containing a detectable amount of Cocaine Base (crack cocaine), a Schedule II Controlled Substance.

Dirt Monkey, an internationally known novelist, who resides in Dallas, Texas, was expected to appear in court today, according to a member of his family who requested they not be identified. The attorney representing Gravy Train said that a motion had been filed to allow his family to arrive from Tulsa, Okla., tomorrow.

If Dirt Monkey and Gravy Train are unable to blog for the renowned RDK Nation, it would leave oft-forgotten intellect Guadalupe Salad, who hasn’t been heard from since in marriage in April, as the only capable mind.

This is the third arrest of RDK bloggers in the last month. Dirt Monkey was arrested in June after witnesses saw him escort a live monkey into a Bananas R Us. Gravy Train, a local attorney, was arrested for hosting a donkey show at Lake Thunderbird over the July 4th holiday weekend.

Criticism has been voiced by watchdog groups that claim arresting officers were later given administrative access to RDK in exchange for altered testimony. These allegations have been denied by all sides.

Normally, success on the Interweb has been followed by arrests off it for RDK. Booster groups expressed hope that these incidents were an indication that the blog was going to have an excellent year.

Disclaimer: This written work is a parody. Any likeness to real-world events is purely coincidental.