Kelly Clarkson turned fat years ago. Good Lord, though. She’s gone from a nobody cutie with a cool accent, to a decent looking pop star, to a relatively fat nobody, to a legit fat-ass star all in the last five years.
This is obviously a studio shot versus a candid concert photo, but check out this monster before and after:
Earth to Carbo Clarkson … you are a millionaire. I understand why the bulk of the Oklahoma Court system is filled with welfare-ridden mammoths. But buy yourself a trainer. And a cook who doesn’t use Crisco as a condiment.
Kelly has an excuse, though. She had PFI. We all saw this coming, like a rhino chasing down its prey. Jessica Simpson, however, is a wholly different story.
There is no way anyone predicted this …

… would become this in less than a year.

She must have pounded Bud Ice and eaten Pizza Shuttle every night to get that way in under a calendar year. I’m the only other person to have such a drastic fat transformation in nine months, and that was my diet.
Damn she was so hot. Which made up for the stupid parts. Now she’s fat and stupid. You know what that gets you in Hollywood? Donut duty (see Hewitt, Jennifer Love).
Source: WWTDD


35 Comments Received
May 12th, 2009 @11:21 am
This is incredibly offensive and inappropriate. I come here for Sooner sports news, not to hear a rant about how your beloved pop star has gotten fat. Who cares? While I tend to begrudgingly tolerate a lot of misogynistic utterances within sports communities, this post is completely ridiculous and does not belong on a blog about sports. This is disappointing and serves to further perpetuate the male chauvinistic sports fan stereotype. How sad.
May 12th, 2009 @11:36 am
LOL, Jacqueline!! If you’re coming here for unbiased Sooners sports news, your barking up the wrong tree and OBVIOUSLY have never been here before (or any blog for that matter). Try newsok.com or soonersports.com to appease your need for G-ratings and political correctness. Probably a good thing you didn’t come here on “Ask a Ho” day (that’s thurdays by the way). Anyhow, it’s not just aimed at chicks and skanks, Dirt and Train ridicule all facets of idiots and dumbasses equally.
May 12th, 2009 @11:38 am
Sorry, but RDK is our forum, and that of our loyal readers, and you are not one to say what is inappropriate or not. That’s for us to decide. We don’t have stockholders, advertisers or paying customers to answer to … only our own slutty, perverted souls.
If this is a not-so-clever ploy to get people to visit your blog, well OK. Success? Anyway, it’s the offseason, lighten up.
Oh, yeah, call us. We have an extremely offensive and inappropriate proposition for you.
May 12th, 2009 @11:38 am
KC is fat.
Jess is fatter than she was a year ago.
The sky is blue.
It rains in Seattle.
All true, thus not offensive or inappropriate. But we’ll take all the readers we can get.
May 12th, 2009 @11:42 am
Other things true and not offensive:
Only poors from hippie towns like Obama.
I guess you really CAN major in Gameboy if you know how to bullshit.
May 12th, 2009 @11:45 am
Brown pretty much summed it up perfectly. You want fluffy news about OU, go to soonersports.com. You want to kick wide receivers off of the team, you come here. ;-)
May 12th, 2009 @11:49 am
LOL, classic.
May 12th, 2009 @12:29 pm
Everyone talks about aging gracefully but nobody mentions gaining gracefully. I personally don’t care how much Jessica Simpson weighs, but if she’s going to dress like a skinny bitch, she better have the bod to back it up. Kelly’s got it right(er) by only showing some arm skin. (Even though it’s in a very young Mama Cass type of way.)
I would like to think that even Jacqueline the Feminist would agree with that. But something tells me probably not.
May 12th, 2009 @12:37 pm
Brown, Train, and Monkey,
you are shovenistic pigs who perpetuate the vicious cycle of self-loathing and low self image.
Oh, and your moms are fat.
May 12th, 2009 @12:38 pm
We love you too Tits!!!
May 12th, 2009 @12:55 pm
I seriously thought that was Ronnie Van Zant for a second.
May 12th, 2009 @1:02 pm
“Ooooooo, that smell”
May 12th, 2009 @1:37 pm
Just looking at the first KC photo, she was/can be pretty damn adorable.
May 12th, 2009 @2:42 pm
Getting fat sucks. Getting fat because you are lazy/don’t care anymore only sucks for your fans who want to see the previous skinny/sexy you. That is if you equate skinny to sexy like most “normal” people. Equating overweight people to sexy is a different type of website, or so I’m told.
I thought this was a humor blog with some football tossed in? And if it’s a sports blog with a little football and humor tossed in, isn’t watching girls a sport? Sports Illustrated thinks so.
Offensive locker room humor is part of the internet. And when you can get your head around that your skin will not be quite as thin/paste white (yuck).
My blog (obvious plug) is about my experience with Land Rovers in Oklahoma…some of the time that is, when I’m not bitching about something. If all I ever wrote about was how many times I banged my hand trying to wrench a nut no one (or even less people than now) would read it.
May 12th, 2009 @3:32 pm
10 to 1 odds to anyone that Jacquelin is pushin two fitty.
May 12th, 2009 @3:40 pm
Jacqueline’s photo is cropped, black and white, and grainy … the MySpace way! There’s really no way to tell.
May 12th, 2009 @3:50 pm
She has a few redeeming qualities. She likes beer. She is edumacated. She is a Sooner fan. She can’t be all bad.
May 12th, 2009 @3:53 pm
Someone on this site has a common friend with Jacqueline, so maybe there’s hope her yet.
May 12th, 2009 @4:30 pm
just a thought: has anyone been able to verify the picture of Fatclarkson is legit? It might be a picture of someone else, and the Gravy Train just pulled the pork fat over your eyes.
May 12th, 2009 @4:40 pm
Care of the 3rd best blog on the planet (after RDK and TLO):
http://www.wwtdd.com/2009/05/kelly-cartman/
May 12th, 2009 @4:44 pm
C’mon, Monster. We provided the source in the content. Think we’re amateurs? (Don’t answer that.)
May 12th, 2009 @5:31 pm
Wow, well that was quite the discussion thread to catch up on.
Actually, I’ve visited this site a lot and follow your Twitter feed. I’m not looking for football “fluff” as you call it, but still I don’t see why I shouldn’t be allowed to voice my opinion just because it disagrees with yours. And no, I’m not pushing 250, as a matter of fact I run several marathons a year and am in great shape with a great body. Yea, so I posted a black and white cropped picture, who cares? Make all the assumptions you want about me, that’s fine, I don’t come online to seek validation from strangers. My point was merely that the chauvinistic attitude of this particular blog post (and others) as well as these comments is offensive and serves to disengage a lot of sports fans. Very disappointing and a poor representation of Sooner fan.
And I have no idea who my mutual friend is on this site to which someone referred, to my knowledge I don’t know any of you.
May 12th, 2009 @5:36 pm
Shave your pits, have a tofu burrito at Magnolia (I’d order the love migas, but that’s just me) and simmer down, Jackie.
May 12th, 2009 @5:39 pm
Haha, stop stereotyping seriously. I shave and I’m not a vegetarian or a lesbian or fat or any other stereotype you may have. But whatever…
May 12th, 2009 @5:43 pm
Vickery, J. (forthcoming spring 2009).
“i HATE HATE HATE being single’ and ‘why is getting a bf so hard for me?’: Reproducing heteronormative femininity on gURL.com”. Girlhood Studies Journal, Vol. 2, no. 1.
I can take a quick stab at that one …
May 12th, 2009 @5:45 pm
Oh please – it’s about 15 year old girls not me. This is getting ridiculous.
May 12th, 2009 @6:00 pm
LOL, Who would have ever thought this blog entry would lead the “Most Comments” list? No one ever said you couldn’t voice your opinion, nor that you couldn’t post it. You should do so at will, but I and others will obviously have our own opinion about your opinion. But the solution here is simple, if you don’t like the content, don’t read it. And if you’ve been here before, and twittered, how in the hell could you be in shock and awe of what was written here? Did you retain any of your previous readings? Funny, you don’t come online seeking validation from strangers, yet you found it necessary to defend your body size and weight, shaving habits, diet, and sexual preference……………lol…..but whatever…
May 12th, 2009 @6:10 pm
Haha, whatever you asked.
If responses were actually opinions about my opinion that would be fine (and some are), but most aren’t. They are rude personal attacks based on ludicrous assumptions and stereotypes, and that is what is frustrating but I guess not surprising.
But as you said, if I don’t want to subject myself to it, I don’t have to read it. I do find it disappointing that fellow Sooners can be so quick to resort to petty name calling and personal attacks of someone (as opposed to their opinions), but such is life.
May 12th, 2009 @6:22 pm
Sooner fans resorting to petty name calling and personal attacks?! Never!! Have you ever gone to OU/TX? In all seriousness, I think you’re taking this whole thing a little too seriously Jac. If you were a regular reader of this blog as you so claim, I think you would understand that this site is for Sooner info with uncensored ridicule and jest mixed in for amusement purposes. If you’re that easily offended….
May 12th, 2009 @6:36 pm
This is the last thing I’m going to say because I really need to get going. It’s not the initial post that is so frustrating but rather the nature of the comments. It’s nothing new and I usually don’t say anything, but sometimes I do have the need to call people out for perpetuating stereotypes that are damaging to both men and women. Perhaps this isn’t the “appropriate” space to do that, but then where is? On forums in which everyone would agree with me? That isn’t productive either. When I posted my original comment I really didn’t anticipate such a heated response from the community, but that’s fine.
May 12th, 2009 @7:39 pm
This POS post — no offense, Gravy — has 30-plus comments? Wow. Jacqueline, everything (mostly) we say is in jest. Surely you know that. We’re glad to have you here, but you’ll have to toughen up that skin a bit. (And if you really don’t hate men, take off your top … I kid. Sorta. See how much fun this is? Eff sterotypes.)
Voice your opinion all you want, but I’m still shocked that you found this particular entry so offensive. You need to dig through some past content if you really want to see “tote inapprop” as our resident RDK trim likes to say. I mean, how bad can we really be if almost half our staff is female?
We had nothing to do with gurl.com, unfortunately. Eff.
May 12th, 2009 @9:29 pm
Ex. A why my posts never need editing.
I would assume Ms. V started reading this blog a week ago. Otherwise, this discussion is a year old.
May 12th, 2009 @9:46 pm
If not more, considering we started in August 2007. If you can believe that.
May 12th, 2009 @10:11 pm
Last Comment:
This post was a dig on two celebrities with highly public weight gains, not a post about some woman at Braum’s in SW Oklahoma City. RDK has two female writers who provide hilarious female perspective on a male-centered blog. How this particular topic, one riddled with metaphor and hyperbole, could be taken so literal as to incite such terms as “chauvinism” and “mysogynism” escapes me. So enough with the personal attacks on each other.
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