Unsolicited Commentary

“If it’s hard to swallow, just spit it out” — Me, talking to my high school girlfriend.

That really isn’t much of a metaphor. But I can’t stomach talking about this season anymore. I am sure half-dozens of readers are waiting with baited breath expecting a scathing commentary on the state of our beloved football program.

But that’s not what I’m going to talk to about today.

I’m not going to talk about recruiting. Weren’t Jermie Calhoun, R.J. Washington and Stephen Good the top three players coming out of Texas two years ago? Calhoun can’t hang on to the ball and has fallen behind a true freshman on the depth chart. R.J. Washington can’t get on the field. Stephen Good can’t block anyone.  Jameel Owens? The best player coming out of Oklahoma two years ago can’t get on the field with these jokers. Ben Habern, the best center in the country, is a member of the worst offensive line I have seen since the late ’90s.

I’m not going to talk about our special teams. Chris Wilson apparently spends every second of the day working with the defensive ends. Might as well drop the “Special Teams Coordinator” from his name and take the pay cut. His return coverage squad last year was a joke. His decision to replace our field goal kicker is a greater joke. Maybe his incompetence stems from the fact he’s never been a special teams coach at any level. Ever. Hiring a full-time special teams coach and purging one of the six “assistant head coaches” would be a prudent decision.

I’m not going to talk about our position coaches on offense, specifically the abortions that are the offensive line and the wide receivers. James Patton’s pedigree — he coached the line at Big Ten juggernaut Northwestern for 4 years … with Kevin Wilson as his offensive coordinator. He previously coached H-backs and tight ends at Northwestern, Miami (not Florida) and Rhode Island.

Jay Norvell, the vaunted wide receiver coach, was offensive coordinator for a 6-7 UCLA team and Nebraska from 2004-2006 under Bill Callahan before coming to OU. How do you get a job at OU with that resume? You go to college with Bob Stoops. We can’t get anyone else with better credentials?

I’m not going to talk about the play-calling. The fast-break offense was great when we had the personnel to run it. Earth to dipshit in the press box — we don’t have the personnel to run the no-huddle right now. We have a quarterback who can’t read a paint-by-numbers book. We have no tight ends. At all. We have an offensive line that can’t run block. We have a bunch of receivers who are allergic to the football. We have the worst red-zone offense in the Big 12. We can’t convert a 3rd down. We must lead the country in 2nd and 13s. How about making a fucking adjustment at some point this season?

I’m not going to talk about how the loss to Nebraska is worse than the loss to West Virginia, who had Steve Slaton and Pat White and Noel Devine on their roster. Or how this loss is worse than the Meltdown for the Crown in 2005, because USC had two Heisman Trophy winners and one helluva defense. This was Nebraska circa 2009. A Nebraska team with one really good player — the only player I would take off their team. We managed to score three points.

And I’m really not going to talk about Landry Jones.

There are plenty of other things I could not talk about. Dean Blevins, reviled in the state for his smugness and general idiocy, wrote an excellent article about the state of the program — written by a true alum. I suggest taking some time to read it, because I can’t talk about the state of this program anymore.