Bob Hope & 1984 AP All-Americans

Sure, most of the “talent” I hang around weren’t born for another seven years, but this a great look at some of the top college football players in the mid-’80s.

Some of the notables include Oklahoma OL/DL Tony Casillas, Oklahoma State DE Leslie O’Neal, Virgina Tech DT Bruce Smith, USC LB Jack Del Rio and Boston College QB Doug Flutie.

The real “star” of the show, however, are Hope’s one-liners. Sure, its the ’80s, but weren’t people all coked-up back then? I expected better. For the sake of thoroughness, a sampling plus the video after the jump.

• He’s been physical all his life. When he was born he slapped the doctor before the doctor could slap him. ZING!
• He’s intercepted more passes than Brooke Shields’ mother. Hi-yo!
• He’s got more tricky moves than a nudist at a umble-bee convention. Weeee!
• He’s carried so many tacklers with him, he’s listed in the YellowPages under “public transportation.” A-haaa!
• He has muscles in places where I don’t even have places. Oooookk?
• Dough can thread a needle at 30 yards. He’s been drafted by the NFL, the AFL and the Sun City Ladies Sewing Circle. Bada-bing!
  

1984 AP All-America Team