Red Dirt Babies,
I was watching TV late the other night. At commercial, I got up to go tinkle.  I’m in the bathroom taking care of business like BTO, and I hear crazy sex noise coming from my TV.
Now, sex noises coming from my TV is not a rare occurrence, but it was a little startling [...]

Continue reading " Ask a Ho: Sara’s Secrets Aren’t So Secret "

Red Lovelies,
This past weekend, I experienced something that I had heard tales of. Something that I thought was just a rumor started by man-hating bitches looking for sympathy. Something I thought couldn’t exist … until I witnessed four of them.
Man tantrums.
Mantums.

Continue reading " Ask A Ho: Mantrums "

Red Dirt babies,
I’m effed. And not at all in a good way.
My parents are coming to my new place for dinner on Sunday. And I have to cook. And I can’t serve them cereal, steamed rice or Cheez-Its. I have to give these jerks real food.
Not only that, I have to [...]

Continue reading " Ask A Ho: Dinner with Mussolini "

Red Dirt Babycakes,
Hope you all had a vomitous Valentine’s Day, and a glorious President’s Day.
So, I said yesterday (on the Twitter machine) that I’m starting to seriously consider signing up for online dating.
If my friend’s horror/friggin’ hilarious stories didn’t scare me away, nothing can.
So, allow me to talk myself into signing up …
I figure worst-case [...]

Continue reading " Ask A Ho: ST on Match.com? "

Red Dirt Jerkfaces,
Sorry. I didn’t mean that. I love you like I love Adrian’s bulge in the  Nike Pro Combat commercial. But with all of this Valentine’s Day crap, my level of undue, misappropriated rage has skyrocketed.
Last week, I hinted (and by “hinted” I mean I blatantly said it) that I hate Valentine’s Day.
This shitty [...]

Continue reading " Ask A Ho: Eff Off, Cupid "